Let People (Who Aren't You) Read Your Work

So this past week, my boyfriend read my completed manuscript. Now, let's take a moment to appreciate that this guy sat down one Saturday and read my entire 374-page 87,000-word manuscript in one day. Because, wow.

But after he read it, he told me some of the things that didn't sit well with him or that he didn't really like. He explained the things that he thought got in the way of the story. He also suggested a few alternatives for what could possibly happen instead. 

But you know what's funny?

Every single thing he pointed out was something with which I already had an issue. The second he would bring up a scene or chapter, I knew exactly what he was going to say. I'm not blind to the faults of my manuscript. I knew they were there long before he pointed them out.

The difference is that I had let myself become complacent. I had been working on this thing for so long and I had done about six or seven rounds of edits back to back and, frankly, I was tired of looking at it. I didn't like it anymore. I didn't like the story, my writing, certain scenes, certain characters, nothing. I was over it. I didn't want to look at it anymore. I put it aside and started writing other stuff.

Now don't get me wrong. It was absolutely the right decision to step away for a little while. I was burned out. Continuing to work on it at that point would have been unproductive and frustrating. 

But my problem is that I never let anyone else read it. I let one writer friend read about two, maybe three, non-sequential chapters and I sent the entire manuscript to another friend who hasn't actually read it yet because life gets crazy sometimes. Other than those two, I have never let anyone read this work at all. At. All. So the fact that someone was even willing to sit down and read the entire lengthy mess, much less all at once, is rather remarkable (he kind of likes me).

But because I was so frustrated with my work, I started ignoring the faults mostly because I didn't know how to fix them. It was like when you are searching for just the right word. You can think of synonyms that aren't really what you're looking for, but you just can't place the word you're trying to remember so you settle for the inferior synonym. That's how I'd become. I knew certain scenes or events were wrong, didn't fit, or weren't believable, but I didn't know what the right answer was. 

My boyfriend, because he was fresh to the project and outside of my own head, was able to look at it with a different perspective and tell me exactly what was wrong and pinpoint exactly what was causing it to be wrong. Now, to be honest, a few suggestions didn't really work, but that's not his fault. That was due to the fact that, as the author, I have knowledge of what will happen later on in the story. Because he doesn't have that information, he made a few suggestions that would not work. But for the most part, every suggestion was either perfect or sparked another idea in my head. 

I did about half the edits we discussed and it already feels so much better. Scenes that I had grown to hate because I knew they were wrong suddenly feel so much better. Obviously, I still have work to do, but his critique was far more helpful than I think he'll ever know. 

So, the moral of the story: let someone (who isn't you) read your work. 

I'm a writer, okay. I know how absurdly terrifying, nauseating, and anxiety-inducing it is to let eyes that aren't your own see your words, but trust me, it's needed. I might have never figured out how to fix those problems if he hadn't talked it over with me. Even just talking through the story made me see some holes that he hadn't noticed. 

I know it's scary, but do it. Start with just one person you trust and work from there. Try for more after that. More perspectives can't hurt. It was scary for me, but talking about my book with someone reinvigorated me about it and made me excited about it again. 

Plus, it's just fun to hear someone else talk about characters you created. It's more fun than you think.

The Book that Made Me Want to be a Writer

When people find out that I'm an English major or that I write creatively in my spare time, usually this question comes up:

So what's your favorite book/author?

And this is such a daunting question and only other readers understand just how impossible such a question is to answer. I am incapable of picking just one book or even just one author. I have a hard time even picking just one book per genre. The Hunger Games is one of my favorite books in the world, but so is Jane Eyre and those are not comparable. Throw in books like To Kill A Mockingbird, Tess of the D'Urbervilles, Pride and Prejudice, Divergent, and The Great Gatsby and you've got a mess that cannot possibly be sorted. At first I'd think I would have to pick something like Jane Eyre over something like The Hunger Games because it is a classic, but does that make THG any less important? Of course not. That discredits both books.

What I can tell you is the book that made me realize I wanted to write. I've wanted to be a writer since I was a little kid and even though I've strayed at times from that goal, the deep desire to write never left me. That passion for arranging words on paper all comes down to one pivotal book I read when I was six years old.:

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis.

C. S. Lewis is arguably one of my top three favorite authors of all time and the Narnia series certainly ranks similarly, but like I said, I can't say it is my all-time favorite. That is simply impossible. 

What I do know is that when I read that book for the first time, I was enraptured by it. All I could think was How did this man tell such a story? That was the moment that I knew I wanted to write.

Now let's remember, I was six. Writing stories back then consisted of the worst sentences you've ever read and only about four of them. But that passion persisted. Throughout elementary school I wrote short stories that were a couple of pages long. By middle school, I could rack up about ten pages. In high school I started my first novel. In college I finished my first novel and started others while also writing several short stories.

Observing what C. S. Lewis was able to do with just words was astounding. Now, I am in no way comparing myself to him because I think the world of Lewis. Words cannot really express how much I love his writing. But reading Narnia showed me the potential that words can have in the right order, under the right hand. 

So can I accurately say that C. S. Lewis is my favorite author? No, I have too many. Can I say that Narnia is my favorite book? Of course not, I could never choose just one. But Narnia will always be close to my heart not just as merely one of my favorites, but as the book that showed me how powerful storytelling can be. Lewis showed me the magical power a simple lamppost can have. Lewis showed me how long a book can stick in your mind, something I'm reminded of every time I check a closet for tree branches and snow. Lewis showed me that good writing is a kind of magic in and of itself and it is unlike anything else.

So what is that book for you? What is that book that really impressed you and made you consider writing? I'd love to hear it in the comments!

You, The Author, Controls the Story (Also, Losing Writing Sucks)

So this post is kind of two-fold. Let's start with the first fold (see what I did there? I'm sorry...).

So this past week, I experienced every writer's worst fear: some of my WIP manuscript was corrupted and I lost over 2,500 words. My computer had some weird meltdown and I had to force close and when I restarted, Scrivener had lost the most recent scene I had written.

(Let's be clear. I emailed Scrivener support and they were wonderful, but unfortunately, the problem couldn't be fixed. Not their fault, but still devastating.)

So what did I do? Well, like any mature adult, I took notes from my computer and also had a full on meltdown. I was gloomy the rest of the day, moped well into the next, and then desperately googled any solutions I could find, but none worked.

The good news: I could reproduce the last 500 words or so from memory because I wrote them so recently. I also remembered that I wrote about 600 by hand and I still had the paper, so I could perfectly redo that part as well.

The bad news: I couldn't for the life of me remember how the scene started. I could remember parts of it, but not nearly all 1,400 words. It bothered me not being able to remember the scene, let alone the exact words I used. I whined and complained about that to my boyfriend and like the encouraging, supportive person he is, he said to me, "It may not be exactly what you wrote before, but it will still be good because you are a good writer. If you need time to vent, then vent. But then you can redo it."

Now, I was grouchy when he said this, but his words weren't lost on me. That was probably the best thing anyone could have said to a writer who just lost 2,500 words of writing. (Side note: He's pretty wonderful all the time.)

But that was still a hard concept for me to accept. I have a pretty good memory, even photographic at times, so not being able to reproduce the words exactly as they were bugs me. I can read a sentence, know that the words are not identical to before, but still not be able to remember them. And I hate that. 

And here's where we transition into the second fold (again, sorry). I promise the two are related.

I have a really hard time taking helpful criticism from people for one specific reason: I don't like when people suggest big changes. Tell me that you think the dialogue would sound better this way, fine. Tell me I didn't describe the setting at all, we're cool. But tell me to change a character's name or change their actions in a scene, and I will bristle. I know that sounds weird so hear me out.

I once saw a quote that said something along the lines of writers don't control characters, they just follow them with a pen and write down what happens (please comment if you know what quote I'm talking about, I can't find it). I've always kind of operated under this philosophy. The characters have become so real to me that I often forget that I created them, that I control them. 

Now, that's not to say that I don't experience that thing that many writers describe where the scene you intend to write morphs entirely because the characters basically gave you the middle finger and did whatever they wanted (okay, I definitely sound crazy). 

But I constantly have to remind myself that I do have some control over what words appear on the page. So maybe I can't reproduce the lost scene exactly the way it was (and I'm still kind of grumpy about that, even though I have since redone it). And maybe I have to change actions I don't want to change because they don't fit the story. At some point, I have to trust what my boyfriend said, that I am a good writer, and that I can, in fact, manipulate the story to make it the best it can be. It's not always easy, but it's worth it.

The Importance of Writer Friends

Confession time: I don't like making new friends.

That doesn't mean I'm not good at it. I'm actually pretty good at making friends. It's easy for me to strike up conversation with people. I'm skilled at making fast friends.

But I don't like it. 

I have fantastic friends. I really do. I have wonderful, fun, supportive, caring friends. I'm happy with them. I don't ever feel like I need new ones. But there is one problem.

For the most part, they don't write.

Now I don't say that to criticize my friends. As I've said, they're fantastic. But there's something to be said for having friends who share your interests, studies, and goals. 

I recently adjusted my college course plan to include an English major with a concentration in creative writing and I couldn't be happier with my decision. My classes consist of a few literature classes and a few writing classes and I love it. Finally, my school work is intended to prepare me for what I absolutely love to do. 

But by far the best part of the new classes is the students. Everyone around me has the same goal. We all write. We all hope to get published. We all enjoy reading and writing and don't consider any one work to be better than another. It is only my second week of classes, and I've already had so many good conversations about books, about writing, about publishing, about all of it. These people get it. These people get me.

Before now, I had one friend who is a serious writer and she is amazing. What's even more amazing is now I have multiple friends like her. 

I may have amazing friends who are supportive, but as a writer, there is nothing more valuable than having writer friends. Seek out those writer friends, even if you hate making friends. You will not regret it.

KMG

Never Delete Anything and Never Give Up

Hey everyone! 

So I realize it's been a while since I last posted. Summer turned out to be busier than I thought. My summer classes turned out to be much more intense than I thought they would be, I've been trying to do a lot of writing, and I've been querying, not to mention my personal activities, where I've been trying to make the most of the summer before it passes me by!

Basically, I've been super busy not only this summer, but trying to get everything ready for the fall semester, when I start my English major. Unfortunately, blogging fell by the wayside, but now I'm back!

So let's talk about how things are on the writing front. Near the end of my spring semester (April?) I started work on a new manuscript. For the sake of clarity, let's call this one manuscript #3. I had stalled with the first story I started writing after my completed manuscript (we'll call this one manuscript #2) and this new idea came to me out of nowhere. As it always is when a story is fresh, I couldn't write fast enough to keep up with my mind. As summer started, I found myself with 10,000 words of a new story just like that. That is about 1/5 of a completed young adult book! I was so exhilarated by manuscript #3 and so frustrated with manuscript #2 that I basically just gave up on #2 and decided it wasn't meant to be. I've read a lot of information from published authors about how sometimes they write, or begin to write, a new manuscript and find that it just isn't right. And that's okay. 

So I accepted that that must be what happened. I was okay with it. It happens. So I focused on the new one, #3, and on everything I else I've been up to this summer. 

But like all new things, the writing fervor I was experiencing on #3 died out. I don't mean to say that I've given up on it as well, because that's the furthest thing from the truth. I am still working on it and I'm very happy with where it's going. I think this is going to be a good one. 

But that old one, #2, the one I gave up on, is bugging me. Lately, I can't get it out of my head. It's begging to be written and it's getting harder and harder to ignore it. I looked at it again. I only have about 7,000 words. I thought I had written more than that. I tried to write and couldn't come up with a single word. I got frustrated, growled at the computer, then gave up and ran back into the comfortable embrace of #3. 

But #2 is still bugging me. I whined about it to my mom and my boyfriend, and while I complained, I realized something so stupidly obvious, I feel ridiculous for saying this. My first (completed) manuscript was so hard to write. Was it hard because it was my first? Certainly. Was it hard because I had wanted to give this story words for so long so I felt pressure? Of course. Was it hard because it was fantasy and required special considerations while writing it? Definitely. But I persevered because I knew it had to be written. Even if it never gets published (even though I really hope it does), I'm glad it's written.

I think if I was meant to give up on #2 now, it wouldn't still be bugging me. I think I would have long ago forgotten about it and not worried about it. But it's pestering me because it deserves to be written. It's an interesting story, I think, and I want to see it through.

Is it going to be hard? Oh, most certainly. But I think it will be worth it. And in the meantime, when I get frustrated with it, I still have #3 to work on as well. I hope to finish #3 within the next couple of months, based on the pace at which I'm writing. 

All of this to say that I never deleted #2. I still have it on Scrivener, and I'm so glad. If I had deleted it, I would have to start all over and that would be nearly impossible. Now I already have 7,000 words and an outline to go off of.

So here's my point. Don't delete anything and don't give up on anything just because it's hard. See it through. I'm going to start trying to take that advice myself. 

<3 KMG