I'm dangerously close to completing my manuscript!!!!!! *squeals of glee* This is such a surreal feeling. I've had this idea for as long as I can remember and I've been working on it in some form of discipline since about junior year of high school or so. It's so weird/exciting/relieving/scary to think that I'm this close to finishing. Plus, I already have the basics of book 2 mapped out so yay! Just a little ways to go to finish...
Celebrations to follow once I am actually done
(Google)So anyway, on to the actual topic of this blog post. Because I'm so close to finishing, the procrastination force has been especially severe. To procrastinate, I like to read blogs and articles by published authors, publishers, agents, etc. I've read several along the lines of how writers feel about their manuscripts, and while some of them really hit on some great chords, I thought I'd contribute my own two cents on the matter.
1. I'm constantly thinking about my manuscript, and I do mean CONSTANTLY. From the moment I wake up, to the moment I fall asleep, I'm thinking about it. (I've also been known to dream about it) As soon as I wake up, I'm evaluating everything in my head. Is that character developed enough? Is the ending finite enough? Is the beginning interesting and attention grabbing? Should I take out that minor storyline? Is it long enough? My chapters aren't equal lengths, is that a problem? How am I going to develop that relationship? Do I even need that character? Do I even like that character? This is my mind at all waking hours. I'm always thinking and obsessing and overthinking every aspect of the story.
2. When I'm not actively obsessing over my own story (albeit I'm still thinking about it in the back of my mind), I'm thinking about other stories. Other books, TV shows, movies, whatever. If it has a storyline, I'm evaluating it. I used to not think about anything except the plot, but writing actively and frequently has caused me to analyze all aspects of storytelling.
3. The characters I've made up in my head are just as real to me as the people in my life. Now before you think I've totally lost it, let me explain. Like I said before, I've had this idea for years, for a good portion of my life, and I created the characters, so I know them as well as I know myself. I know how they think, how they feel, and their entire life stories. This is especially true of my protagonist, Jade. I know Jade as well as myself. I know every detail of her entire life, even details she hasn't yet learned (because I haven't written them yet). I know what she looks like, what she likes and doesn't like, how she feels, and how she would react to any situation.
4. The setting of my story is as real to me as my current surroundings. My story is a fantasy story and I often catch myself applying fantasy elements to real life.
5. I am probably both my manuscript's and my own biggest fan and its greatest critic. Sometimes I'm so proud of the story and the fact that I came up with it that my happiness escalates quickly into arrogance. Other times I find myself unable to write a single word because I feel like it's so stupid and no one will ever publish it. It will probably always be there. I, more than anyone else, want the story to succeed and be popular, but I also, more than anyone else, worry that it is the worst thing ever written in the history of the world.
The writer's mind is a complicated thing. My mind is constantly racing with writing-ish thoughts. I still feel weird even calling myself a writer, but I guess it's okay when you have a 60,000+ manuscript in progress that's almost complete...
Well, off to more writing... Leave me a comment and let me know what your crazy writer mind does... I'd enjoy reading it.
KMG
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